Update of sorts

I suppose it's time for a bit of an update.

Lets see here....where should I start?

Work is going at quite a steady pace. Between Indigo and CH I'm certainly keeping myself busy!! (By the way I got a second job at Indigo books in case not everyone knew that). For example tomorrow I'm going to the second day of my Non Violent Crisis Intervention course for CH from 9:30 - 3:00, I then have a meeting with my supervisor back at the project home when the course is finished, then I have to drive across lovely Ottawa to be at Indigo and work there from 5 - 10!!! Yikes...I may be tired by the time I get home. To top that off we're supposed to have 15 - 20 cm of snow tomorrow. O Canada!

Between work I'm slowly working through wedding plans. The rockin' pace I started off with has slowed down considerably with work and since the major venues have been booked. I'm heading to a bridal store on Saturday morning with one of my bridesmaids - the only one who I will physically be able to try on dresses with. That should be fun and perhaps I'll get to try my dress on again which will be super fun :D ( I really love my dress!!)

Russell is in Zimbabwe at the moment and I'm sure he's having a fantastic time. The hardest part is not being able to talk with him while he's there. The country is subject to power cuts and so they never know when they'll have access to the Internet. I received one email from a contact at Capernwray letting us know they're safe, other than that I will probably have to wait until he gets back! I can't wait to hear all about it.

Social life...well that's a bit non-active at the moment. I was thinking about this today. I realised it took me a good 2 years to build up the friends and support I had in Morpeth; that's a long time! I think part of me feels it's just not worth the effort because I don't know if I'm sticking around. However; that being said one phrase that I have really felt in my heart over and over is "bloom where you're planted." I was praying the other night and praying that God would give me the strength to put down roots even when I don't want to. It's this whole "once I get them planted I have to pull them up again so what's the point" attitude that's going on. I actually feel quite stubborn about it, like this resistant little plant. The thing is, though, because I'm not putting them down I also feel lonely, frail and withered. Lovely eh! I just want to keep to myself and let life get on to when I want it to be. I really am trying hard but it's one thing to recognize something and another thing to take action. Before I went to bed I randomly flipped open my Bible - not necessarily the wisest thing to do when seeking council from it but occasionally God will surprise me with the words I find - and I flipped to Jeremiah 17:7,8:

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out it's roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; it's leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit"

Tears came to my eyes. How awesome is God that even in my stubbornness he speaks to me this way. My problem isn't necessarily about putting down roots. It's that I'm not trusting...darn self sufficiency!!

Lord I want to trust! Give me the strength to trust! Help me to take action when I can to trust and surrender my fear.