Big Sigh

Stress:
a) A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.

b) A stimulus or circumstance causing such a condition.

Perhaps I'm not so much stressed out now but I was this morning. Anna came into my room last night to talk about next year and my options for where I would stay. Initially I was fine, I was cleaning my room and had that to focus on instead. I had a stupid dream last night though and woke up feeling absolutely awful. I dreamt that I'd forgotten to go to the assembly we had today and went off and did something else instead. When I felt so guilty and tried to ring work to apologize but they were so angry with me. I woke up feeling just horrible about it even though it didn't happen. I got to work I think things just piled up on my shoulders. I wrote an email to friends venting my frustrations and suddenly my wall of reserve started to crumble and I tried and tried and tried....but the tears came. At least no one was around. I'm not overly embarassed to cry in front of people, but I think I just needed some space.

Hard days come. It will be ok. I know my future is secure in God's hands, but hard days still come.

"What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? Job 6:11

"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" Job 13:15

"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame" Psalm 25:3

"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:5