Two and a half more weeks until I'm back in Canada. I can almost feel the storm cell humidity of the Ottawa Valley and feel the open space of wide roads again. I wonder if I'm going to have reverse culture shock after being away for so long??
I had a wonderful distraction from work the past couple days. Emily, one of my very good friends that I made while at Capernwray, came to visit with her brother. They arrived Sunday evening and left yesterday. I had a great time. We managed to get into Newcastle and see the Haymarket and the Quayside. We had coffee at a trendy bar with huge purple chairs and we went to see the exhibitions at the Baltic. There were some really cool ones. One by Sam Taylor-Wood which was titled "Still Lives" and another one which was a space time tunnel that you walked through. There were T.V. screens all throughout it blasting live broadcasts from around the world at you. We also made it out to Druridge Bay in the evening which is always such a nice place to go.
Yesterday we walked around Morpeth. We saw the Bagpipe Museum which although it may sound boring can always be made more fun when you try on the clothes which are on display! We bought a loaf of bread and walked down to the river to feed the ducks. I've taken a bit of a liking to ducks recently and I really like sitting by the river to eat my lunch and watch them. Yesterday though, we discovered that ducks have an alternative nature other than their sweet quacking cuteness. They also have a vicious, spiteful, biting side! They were going crazy on one another in order to get the bread. At one point this one duck climbed on the back of another and started biting it's neck! Emily started scolding and ran over to scare him off but my goodness. I prefer to think of ducks as cute docile creatures who like rain...that's how Raffi portrayed them! (Give me a shout if you actually know who Raffi is!)
I felt pretty melancholy after they left yesterday. I had to walk home from the train station so I ended up calling Russell so I wouldn't get too down. He's a nice encouraging person :) It was just so much fun to have a friend around. I have friends here, don't think I'm a loner or anything, but someone who understood the past couple months with me, who was able to laugh at the stories we remembered with me, someone who had gotten to know me quite well as one does in a short confined time, and someone who above all understood my frustration when English people corrected the way I say "about." I DO NOT SAY ABOOT!!! :)
Anyway the fact that I was pretty sad when she left did bring me some joy because it meant that I'm getting better at cherishing the people around me! (See my post called "Happy to Love")
The other good thing I have to look forward to is my brother and Steve and Heather arriving! WOO HOO! I'm so excited to see them. It's been far far too long! I mean what if they've developed and matured into an elite society beyond my social status?? It's a good thing they have a few days with the Mosher clan before returning to England just in case they need to be reminded what silliness and immaturity are. Russell is going to hopefully get a chance to come up and meet the three of them as well which would be super cool and great!
Hmmmm what else. In other news I found my missing bank card. It was perfect timing as usual. I'd gone to the bank last Friday to report it missing and request a new one. They were wonderful and assured me my new one would arrive within 5-7 days. I was excited when after just 3 there was an envelope on my bed containing my new card. I went upstairs to put it in my room and Aaron was just hanging his and Emily's towels over my door when he swiped the top of my wardrobe and something whizzed off. Low and behold, my old bankcard landed at my feet! Typical! lol
Ok well, I'd best get back to work. I was writing out letters before this and I should get back to that! Bye for now!
Jenny*
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Midsummer Garden Party
This past Saturday we had a charity fundraiser to raise money for the team of youth going to Canada this summer. It was a Midsummer Garden Party, with a champagne reception, traditional hog roast and fire works. It was a lovely evening and evening and everyone looked great. Here's a few pics of the night:
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Catching Up With Life
Back to Morpeth. Where does the time fly? It almost feels as though the last two months were some sort of time warp and perhaps they didn't really happen...They most certainly did though and I'm so glad! I had such a great time at Capernwray and I would go back there in a second if the opportunity arose.
What did I learn? Well according to our principal, we learned nothing. We heard a lot of stuff but we don't learn anything until we leave and start living our lives. That's when we learn the things we were taught. I'm thinking that learning will probably be the hard part of everything. Already I think I'm learning lots being back. I'm learning that unfortunately Bible School isn't real life. I've come back into a particularly stressful time at work and I'm finding it a bit of a struggle not to just slip back into the rut of things as if nothing happened but to hold onto the changes that took place in my heart while I was away. I guess it's the same sort of syndrome that happens when you come back from a week of youth camp or a weekend youth convention. You feel pumped up and ready to go and then you take the exit back into reality and you seem to merge right back into the regular stream of traffic you were on before you left. However, I'm trying hard to make a conscious decision not to let that happen.
But, going back to my original point of what I learned...we actually covered so much material! We looked at Kings, Song of Songs, Joshua, Deuteronomy, Isaiah, 1 John, Galatians, Ephesians, Revelation, 1 & 2 Timothy, missions, relationships, Christian dynamics, the doctrine of salvation, who needs Theology....and more I'm sure that I can't think of. Some of the lectures were better than others but it was all good sound teaching. I think I learned a lot just being in the environment I was with so many other Christians. It was so encouraging to see Jesus being lived out through other's lives around me. What a blessing as well to be able to make some amazing friends! Most of the students were from North America which was great because I was able to have some good ol' North American fun! (whatever that means, I'm not sure, I think it's just an excuse to let my hair down!) I know I learned a lot about myself as well. I went away thinking I was going to get some specific direction for the future but found that it was more of a time for God to work in my heart and for me to catch up with life and the experiences I've had so far. A bit of space outside of the norm which is probably what we all need at times.
Anyway hopefully I'll be able to update a bit more frequently now that I'm back. I have lots of stories to keep me going for a long time!
I'll post some pictures soon!
Jenny*
What did I learn? Well according to our principal, we learned nothing. We heard a lot of stuff but we don't learn anything until we leave and start living our lives. That's when we learn the things we were taught. I'm thinking that learning will probably be the hard part of everything. Already I think I'm learning lots being back. I'm learning that unfortunately Bible School isn't real life. I've come back into a particularly stressful time at work and I'm finding it a bit of a struggle not to just slip back into the rut of things as if nothing happened but to hold onto the changes that took place in my heart while I was away. I guess it's the same sort of syndrome that happens when you come back from a week of youth camp or a weekend youth convention. You feel pumped up and ready to go and then you take the exit back into reality and you seem to merge right back into the regular stream of traffic you were on before you left. However, I'm trying hard to make a conscious decision not to let that happen.
But, going back to my original point of what I learned...we actually covered so much material! We looked at Kings, Song of Songs, Joshua, Deuteronomy, Isaiah, 1 John, Galatians, Ephesians, Revelation, 1 & 2 Timothy, missions, relationships, Christian dynamics, the doctrine of salvation, who needs Theology....and more I'm sure that I can't think of. Some of the lectures were better than others but it was all good sound teaching. I think I learned a lot just being in the environment I was with so many other Christians. It was so encouraging to see Jesus being lived out through other's lives around me. What a blessing as well to be able to make some amazing friends! Most of the students were from North America which was great because I was able to have some good ol' North American fun! (whatever that means, I'm not sure, I think it's just an excuse to let my hair down!) I know I learned a lot about myself as well. I went away thinking I was going to get some specific direction for the future but found that it was more of a time for God to work in my heart and for me to catch up with life and the experiences I've had so far. A bit of space outside of the norm which is probably what we all need at times.
Anyway hopefully I'll be able to update a bit more frequently now that I'm back. I have lots of stories to keep me going for a long time!
I'll post some pictures soon!
Jenny*
Thursday, May 11, 2006
Capernwray Part 2
Hey all,
Sorry it's been a while, but not too sorry because I've been having a great time while being here.
Its hard to know where to start so I'll try with the most recent happenings. As I said I'm having a great time. It's been so wonderful to be surrounded by so many awesome people and make some great friends. I've missed that so much and I'm so blessed to have this time from God. I've also been learning so much. It's hard to say what exactly, we have so many lectures weekly and are constantly being poured into that it can be a bit overwhelming at times. I do know that God has been speaking to me though.
Today we've been having a prayer focus day and we had some guest speakers come and talk to us about prayer. I can't remember his name exactly but the one man was from Uganda and he had an amazing testimony of how he actually saw Jesus when he was 16. We also had a time of prayer together in one of our lectures that was very moving. We prayed for each other and our nations and worshipped God.
I've just finished reading the book "Blue Like Jazz" and it was one of the most beautiful books I've read in a long time. I felt really challenged as well as very stirred up about the way God can speak to people that breaks through religious traditions. I can't exactly go into the whole book but you should definitely read it. The author is Donald Miller.
I've been managing to keep up the exercise while being here. Yesterday me and my friend Rachel went for an 8 mile run which just about killed us. It wasn't the distance but the heat. We've been running together since I got here and 8 miles was no problem but it's been soooo incredibly hot and sunny that by the end we were ready to pass out. We ended up cutting through some fields, scaring some sheep and jumping into a very muddy pond behind the school. It was the most refreshing thing in the entire world! We ended up having to eat our tea in soaking clothes but a fun memory!
This weekend I'm going bowling Friday night with some others in a town nearby called Morcombe and then Sunday evening I'm on an outreach team with 4 others at a local church nearby. We're leading their after service youth service. It should be fun!
Well I should get going as my internet time is almost up. Just thought I'd try to get a bit of what I've been up to out to you all. I think I've lost most of any English accent I had as I'm surrounded by mostly North Americans.
I hope everyone is well, drop me an email if you get a chance, I'd love to hear from you.
Love and Blessings, Jenny*
Sorry it's been a while, but not too sorry because I've been having a great time while being here.
Its hard to know where to start so I'll try with the most recent happenings. As I said I'm having a great time. It's been so wonderful to be surrounded by so many awesome people and make some great friends. I've missed that so much and I'm so blessed to have this time from God. I've also been learning so much. It's hard to say what exactly, we have so many lectures weekly and are constantly being poured into that it can be a bit overwhelming at times. I do know that God has been speaking to me though.
Today we've been having a prayer focus day and we had some guest speakers come and talk to us about prayer. I can't remember his name exactly but the one man was from Uganda and he had an amazing testimony of how he actually saw Jesus when he was 16. We also had a time of prayer together in one of our lectures that was very moving. We prayed for each other and our nations and worshipped God.
I've just finished reading the book "Blue Like Jazz" and it was one of the most beautiful books I've read in a long time. I felt really challenged as well as very stirred up about the way God can speak to people that breaks through religious traditions. I can't exactly go into the whole book but you should definitely read it. The author is Donald Miller.
I've been managing to keep up the exercise while being here. Yesterday me and my friend Rachel went for an 8 mile run which just about killed us. It wasn't the distance but the heat. We've been running together since I got here and 8 miles was no problem but it's been soooo incredibly hot and sunny that by the end we were ready to pass out. We ended up cutting through some fields, scaring some sheep and jumping into a very muddy pond behind the school. It was the most refreshing thing in the entire world! We ended up having to eat our tea in soaking clothes but a fun memory!
This weekend I'm going bowling Friday night with some others in a town nearby called Morcombe and then Sunday evening I'm on an outreach team with 4 others at a local church nearby. We're leading their after service youth service. It should be fun!
Well I should get going as my internet time is almost up. Just thought I'd try to get a bit of what I've been up to out to you all. I think I've lost most of any English accent I had as I'm surrounded by mostly North Americans.
I hope everyone is well, drop me an email if you get a chance, I'd love to hear from you.
Love and Blessings, Jenny*
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Capernwray
Ok, well for some reason my hotmail account is "temporarily unavailable" and I can't seem to send anyone any emails so could those of you who read this blog please pass onto everyone else that I've arrived safely and I'm having a great time so far? Thanks very much.
Yeah so about that great time I'm having. I arrived on Saturday thanks to Tim and Francesca. The drive over here was absolutely beautiful! I love the North! Upon arrival I was a bit overwhelmed. For those of you who don't know Capernwray was built in the 1800's for a family and since then has been turned into a school/hall. The building is pretty much like an old castle and there are fields and farm land around. There are also sheep just outside my dorm room who aren't really that shy about letting us know they're there....especially at night.
I share a room with 4 other girls. Two are from Germany, one is American and the other is from Korea. They're all lovely and I'm getting along with them great. I've also met loads of other awesome people here. The majority of the students are from North America and predominantly American so it's almost like being back in Canada...except for the Castle.
The schedule is pretty full with 4 lectures in the morning and 2 in the evening but they're great. So far we've started looking at Kings and primarily the life of Solomon. I feel like I'm learning so much already and it's only been two days! The other lectures we had today were on forgiveness and they were awesome as well.
Breakfast is at 7:30 every morning so that's a bit of a change since I'm not used to starting work until about 10 and after breakfast there's morning duties. Mine is to clean the bathrooms for my dorm which isn't too bad. After breakfast lectures start. Then lunch and then we have the afternoon free until tea.
Everyone is also put into a family group with about 10 students and two "mentors" and we meet regularly to share and pray together and sometimes we'll have social nights on Fridays. This week I'm going bowling with my family group so that should be fun.
I've also managed to meet a running friend!! Yay! Her name is Rachel and she's from California and she's just finished a marathon in Rome about a month ago. She's really great and it's been fun getting to know her.
Yesterday for the afternoon we decided to walk into the nearest town of Carnforth which turned into an hour and 15 minute walk each way!! It was crazy but a great time of getting to know some people a bit better. My feet weren't very appreciative though as I wore some new shoes and had some nasty blisters when we got back. Also, we were late for tea which isn't very good. You're required at all meals and to be on time at them at that. Oops...it was still a fun afternoon though.
Hmmmm I'm not sure what else. I'm sorry if I'm a little all over the place I only have 20 minutes on the internet so I'm trying to get it all in at once.
Overall I would have to say I'm loving it here and I'm so glad that I came. Part of me wishes it could have been for a full year but 2 months is still good. I'm just happy to make the most of this opportunity.
Anyway I should run, I'll try an attempt my email account again.
Best wishes to everyone and perhaps I'll get a chance to write some more on Thursday!
Love Jenny*
Yeah so about that great time I'm having. I arrived on Saturday thanks to Tim and Francesca. The drive over here was absolutely beautiful! I love the North! Upon arrival I was a bit overwhelmed. For those of you who don't know Capernwray was built in the 1800's for a family and since then has been turned into a school/hall. The building is pretty much like an old castle and there are fields and farm land around. There are also sheep just outside my dorm room who aren't really that shy about letting us know they're there....especially at night.
I share a room with 4 other girls. Two are from Germany, one is American and the other is from Korea. They're all lovely and I'm getting along with them great. I've also met loads of other awesome people here. The majority of the students are from North America and predominantly American so it's almost like being back in Canada...except for the Castle.
The schedule is pretty full with 4 lectures in the morning and 2 in the evening but they're great. So far we've started looking at Kings and primarily the life of Solomon. I feel like I'm learning so much already and it's only been two days! The other lectures we had today were on forgiveness and they were awesome as well.
Breakfast is at 7:30 every morning so that's a bit of a change since I'm not used to starting work until about 10 and after breakfast there's morning duties. Mine is to clean the bathrooms for my dorm which isn't too bad. After breakfast lectures start. Then lunch and then we have the afternoon free until tea.
Everyone is also put into a family group with about 10 students and two "mentors" and we meet regularly to share and pray together and sometimes we'll have social nights on Fridays. This week I'm going bowling with my family group so that should be fun.
I've also managed to meet a running friend!! Yay! Her name is Rachel and she's from California and she's just finished a marathon in Rome about a month ago. She's really great and it's been fun getting to know her.
Yesterday for the afternoon we decided to walk into the nearest town of Carnforth which turned into an hour and 15 minute walk each way!! It was crazy but a great time of getting to know some people a bit better. My feet weren't very appreciative though as I wore some new shoes and had some nasty blisters when we got back. Also, we were late for tea which isn't very good. You're required at all meals and to be on time at them at that. Oops...it was still a fun afternoon though.
Hmmmm I'm not sure what else. I'm sorry if I'm a little all over the place I only have 20 minutes on the internet so I'm trying to get it all in at once.
Overall I would have to say I'm loving it here and I'm so glad that I came. Part of me wishes it could have been for a full year but 2 months is still good. I'm just happy to make the most of this opportunity.
Anyway I should run, I'll try an attempt my email account again.
Best wishes to everyone and perhaps I'll get a chance to write some more on Thursday!
Love Jenny*
Friday, April 14, 2006
Team Lego
I had a really fun time in Tamworth this past weekend and first part of this week. It was great to see Fiona again, she's so much fun and it was also awesome to see Angie!!
Quick story to explain the lego t-shirts. Fi, Angie and I went into Birmingham on Tuesday to shop and while we were in the Bullring Fiona wanted to take a look in the Lego store to see if she could find a birthday present for John. While she was looking Angie and I were wandering around and Angie all of a sudden said she really liked the staff work shirts and then asked if she could buy one. The manager came back and said she could have one for £10. She wasn't sure if she should buy it for that price or not so I jumped in and asked if we could have 2 for £15. Unfortunately he said 2 for £20 which wasn't a deal but we ended up buying the shirts anyway and then wore them bowling that evening for a youth thingy that Angie was involved with. It was a blast and we had so much fun!
We also went and saw the Ringer that evening. Hilarious! I would definitely recommend it!
Anyway I need to run, I'm procrastinating from packing at the moment. Tomorrow I'm off to Capernwray and I'm really excited!!! I'm not sure how often I'll get a chance to blog while I'm there but I'll do my best!
Love and blessings,
Jenny*
Thursday, April 06, 2006
4:26....So Tired!
I think that if you asked me the question "if you could go anywhere in the world and do anything you wanted today, what would you do?" I would have to respond that I would probably go to a cottage in Canada on one of the lakes and I would ask that the bed I slept in at the Hilton on the way home from Christmas be placed in one of the rooms and I would sleep for a solid 24 hours! And not just dozing, I mean real, deep, no dreams, no waking up to use the bathroom sleep!
This week although it hasn't been insanely hectic has still managed to wipe me out. I think part of the wiping out has to do with the fact I've come down with a nasty cold. I sound like a deep throated frog and I'm continuously coughing and blowing my nose. Last night I was up until 2 coughing :( (boo urns!!!) At least I don't feel sick and I'm not bedridden! Just tired.
I was at my housegroup last night and I was particularly inspired. We've been doing a series on prayer that seems to be lasting forever but it's been cause for some challenging and inspiring discussion. As we were talking about intercession I was reminded of some of the ways I used to pray a couple years ago. I wasn't thinking "what's happened to me? I used to be way more active in prayer!" or "man those were good days....I wish I could go back to those days" but I was thinking "wow...I remember what a difference those times made, perhaps I should start stepping out like that again"
I think it's easy to remember a particular point in time where you felt very spiritually alive and either kick yourself for not being like that at present or to want to camp there and live in the memory. I suppose in a way Peter gives us examples of both. Imagine how he felt looking back at denying Jesus. And then there's the time Jesus took James, John and Peter up the mountain and was transfigured and then Elijah and Moses showed up. Peter was like "Lets get the tents and stay here and camp on the mountain!! This is awesome!" Neither are helpful. I do however think that it's important to let your memories be a blessing to you and be something that helps shape the journey forward.
One particular memory that I shared last night was of the days of 4:26 prayer. I'll tell the story for those of you who have no idea what that means.
I was walking home from school one day with a couple of my guy friends, Ryan and Joel, and I'd just bought a new watch. I was trying to figure out how to use the settings and set the alarm and asked what time I should set it for. The guys told me I should set it for 4:26 and then burst out laughing. Thinking that they were slightly weird, as usual, I set my alarm for 4:26 and it stayed at that time for ages. It became this inside joke and I think I was told later that the number 426 had something to do with an engine would make sense considering the guys!
Anyway one day my friends, Ladonna, Leanne and myself were at the church for prayer and we were talking about how we should start praying at the same time every week, that way even though we weren't together we could know we were still praying at the same time. We were trying to figure out what time to make it when one of them said we should pray at 4:26 in the morning! What developed from there was that we would get up every Monday morning at 4:26 and pray until 5. I remember being pretty stoked about it and Ladonna later came and told us that Genesis 4:26 said "and this is the time man began to call upon the Lord" which was very cool! Eventually we got more ladies on bored and friends who were away at university and it was really awesome. I know I didn't get up every week, sometimes I went back to sleep, but the times I did get up to pray I remember feeling a sense that this time of prayer really was making a difference. Somehow the sacrifice of something as dear to me as sleep to spend time in prayer seemed so effective.
So that's the 4:26 story.
Like I said...I don't know if I'm going to start praying at 4:26 weekly again but I really do feel stirred up inside to get off my butt and do something. I have a real sense of anticipation and excitement for what God is doing at this moment and where my future is going to head. I'm so excited to go to Capernwray. I really feel that God is going to specifically speak to me while I'm there about the coming years. I just hope I'm ready to listen!
"The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!"
Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."
And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle.
1 Samuel 3:10,11
This week although it hasn't been insanely hectic has still managed to wipe me out. I think part of the wiping out has to do with the fact I've come down with a nasty cold. I sound like a deep throated frog and I'm continuously coughing and blowing my nose. Last night I was up until 2 coughing :( (boo urns!!!) At least I don't feel sick and I'm not bedridden! Just tired.
I was at my housegroup last night and I was particularly inspired. We've been doing a series on prayer that seems to be lasting forever but it's been cause for some challenging and inspiring discussion. As we were talking about intercession I was reminded of some of the ways I used to pray a couple years ago. I wasn't thinking "what's happened to me? I used to be way more active in prayer!" or "man those were good days....I wish I could go back to those days" but I was thinking "wow...I remember what a difference those times made, perhaps I should start stepping out like that again"
I think it's easy to remember a particular point in time where you felt very spiritually alive and either kick yourself for not being like that at present or to want to camp there and live in the memory. I suppose in a way Peter gives us examples of both. Imagine how he felt looking back at denying Jesus. And then there's the time Jesus took James, John and Peter up the mountain and was transfigured and then Elijah and Moses showed up. Peter was like "Lets get the tents and stay here and camp on the mountain!! This is awesome!" Neither are helpful. I do however think that it's important to let your memories be a blessing to you and be something that helps shape the journey forward.
One particular memory that I shared last night was of the days of 4:26 prayer. I'll tell the story for those of you who have no idea what that means.
I was walking home from school one day with a couple of my guy friends, Ryan and Joel, and I'd just bought a new watch. I was trying to figure out how to use the settings and set the alarm and asked what time I should set it for. The guys told me I should set it for 4:26 and then burst out laughing. Thinking that they were slightly weird, as usual, I set my alarm for 4:26 and it stayed at that time for ages. It became this inside joke and I think I was told later that the number 426 had something to do with an engine would make sense considering the guys!
Anyway one day my friends, Ladonna, Leanne and myself were at the church for prayer and we were talking about how we should start praying at the same time every week, that way even though we weren't together we could know we were still praying at the same time. We were trying to figure out what time to make it when one of them said we should pray at 4:26 in the morning! What developed from there was that we would get up every Monday morning at 4:26 and pray until 5. I remember being pretty stoked about it and Ladonna later came and told us that Genesis 4:26 said "and this is the time man began to call upon the Lord" which was very cool! Eventually we got more ladies on bored and friends who were away at university and it was really awesome. I know I didn't get up every week, sometimes I went back to sleep, but the times I did get up to pray I remember feeling a sense that this time of prayer really was making a difference. Somehow the sacrifice of something as dear to me as sleep to spend time in prayer seemed so effective.
So that's the 4:26 story.
Like I said...I don't know if I'm going to start praying at 4:26 weekly again but I really do feel stirred up inside to get off my butt and do something. I have a real sense of anticipation and excitement for what God is doing at this moment and where my future is going to head. I'm so excited to go to Capernwray. I really feel that God is going to specifically speak to me while I'm there about the coming years. I just hope I'm ready to listen!
"The LORD came and stood there, calling as at the other times, "Samuel! Samuel!"
Then Samuel said, "Speak, for your servant is listening."
And the LORD said to Samuel: "See, I am about to do something in Israel that will make the ears of everyone who hears of it tingle.
1 Samuel 3:10,11
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Canada Ceilidh
(Some of the team going to Canada working hard)
As I mentioned last week we had a Ceilidh this past weekend to raise money for the team going to Canada this summer. It was a great success as well as great fun! It's was very similar to a square/barn dance but the music was different. I don't think we'd have "The Flying Scotsman" as a tune at any of our dances!
Some friends I've met that are away at university during the year were up so I was able to hang with them and was shown how to "properly" dance. Basically that meant spinning as hard as you can until you get bruises on your arms! And Mike says I'm violent!! My shoulders were so sore the next morning! Anyway here are some more pictures for you all to look at!
(Sophie and Ellie)
(dancing with Murphy)
(Murphy, Richard, Lisa and I)
Spa Pics
(This is the "before" picture where we all look alive!)
(Kirsten and Deb drinking wine and eating chocolates)
(Deb, Kirsten and I looking slightly rough around the edges but feeling WAY relaxed!)
(The "after" picture, four very tired, but very relaxed women)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
An Evening of Leisure
That's Lee-sure for Canadians and Leh-sure for the English.
Yesterday afternoon I was in the office on my own while Mike was off doing whatever he does and Lisa was getting herself a chocolate back massage. "ooooh! A chocolate back massage! What's that??" you ask. Well it's a back massage where they pour pure cocoa onto your back and rub it in! How awesomely amazing does it sound? So while she was getting her massage I was thinking to myself how I could really use something like that after the stressful weekend we just had and how I haven't had a back massage in almost 2 years...that's much too long! Suddenly the phone rang and it was Anne Moore - one of the ladies in my church. She was looking for someone else but when she couldn't get a hold of them she suddenly asked "Well Jenny, are you free this evening?"
"Free for what excatly?" I was thinking. Mondays are usually my evening off during the week and I didn't really want to sign up for anything that involved work.
"Free for an evening of pampering at a spa! My treat!" She said! It did not take much convincing to accept her offer!
It was so wonderful. I went with Anne and her daughter Deb and another girl Kirsten from Australia who's recently come to Morpeth to work with International China Concern. We went to a spa in Longframlington called Dene House Farm Cottages and when we arrived we were told to change into our bathing suits and were then brought to a private room with lounging chairs and given robes to wear. We were then brought glasses of whatever we wanted to drink and we chose our free treatment for the evening. We had a choice of a manicure, pedicure, facial, or back massage. Our choices were written down and we were told we'd be called throughout the evening to receive them. Until then we had free use of the pool, steam room, sauna and hot tub or we could sit and read magazines. We were also brought a tray of chocolates and served supper later on which was a selection of quiches, crisps and dip, cheeses and crackers, salad, and other tray like foods. For Dessert we were brought a toffee pavlova (mmmmmmmmmmm) and hagan daas ice cream!!!
It was such a relaxing evening! I was so blessed to have been treated to it. We didn't end up leaving until 11 and when Anne went to pay they wouldn't accept payment for Kirsten and I!
What an absolute blessing!
(pictures to be added to this post soon)
Yesterday afternoon I was in the office on my own while Mike was off doing whatever he does and Lisa was getting herself a chocolate back massage. "ooooh! A chocolate back massage! What's that??" you ask. Well it's a back massage where they pour pure cocoa onto your back and rub it in! How awesomely amazing does it sound? So while she was getting her massage I was thinking to myself how I could really use something like that after the stressful weekend we just had and how I haven't had a back massage in almost 2 years...that's much too long! Suddenly the phone rang and it was Anne Moore - one of the ladies in my church. She was looking for someone else but when she couldn't get a hold of them she suddenly asked "Well Jenny, are you free this evening?"
"Free for what excatly?" I was thinking. Mondays are usually my evening off during the week and I didn't really want to sign up for anything that involved work.
"Free for an evening of pampering at a spa! My treat!" She said! It did not take much convincing to accept her offer!
It was so wonderful. I went with Anne and her daughter Deb and another girl Kirsten from Australia who's recently come to Morpeth to work with International China Concern. We went to a spa in Longframlington called Dene House Farm Cottages and when we arrived we were told to change into our bathing suits and were then brought to a private room with lounging chairs and given robes to wear. We were then brought glasses of whatever we wanted to drink and we chose our free treatment for the evening. We had a choice of a manicure, pedicure, facial, or back massage. Our choices were written down and we were told we'd be called throughout the evening to receive them. Until then we had free use of the pool, steam room, sauna and hot tub or we could sit and read magazines. We were also brought a tray of chocolates and served supper later on which was a selection of quiches, crisps and dip, cheeses and crackers, salad, and other tray like foods. For Dessert we were brought a toffee pavlova (mmmmmmmmmmm) and hagan daas ice cream!!!
It was such a relaxing evening! I was so blessed to have been treated to it. We didn't end up leaving until 11 and when Anne went to pay they wouldn't accept payment for Kirsten and I!
What an absolute blessing!
(pictures to be added to this post soon)
Friday, March 31, 2006
Oh what to write? The possibilities are endless I'm sure although limited to some point.
Tonight I'm going into Newcastle with a bus full of young people to an event called ixth hour. Usually this event is held on a Sunday evening but tonight is a special occasion because Mike Pilavachi will be speaking. I've never heard him speak before but I've heard he's very good and I'm looking forward to hearing him. I suppose there's hope for me after all! :)
Another reason I'm excited about this evening is because in going to ixth hour I will not have to go to Peg it, the regular youth club we run on a Friday evening. I will be working later tonight but it's a change of scenery and that will be nice. I like changes of scenery every once in a while. I guess you could say that I suffer from "itchy feet" syndrome although that's a whole other post in itself.
Anyway that being said, I'm looking forward to Capernwray in like 2 weeks! AHH! I can't believe it's come so soon! I do not feel ready at all lol. I'm mentally ready to go but physically I have not even started to think about packing or anything like that. I really probably should!
Tomorrow I'm going to a Ceilidh that we're putting on as a fundraiser for the team going to Canada this summer. I have never been to a Ceilidh before so I'm sure it will be an experience. I'll try to remember to bring my camera so I can take pictures to possibly post. Basically it's like a big barn dance!
Next week Mike and Lisa are going off to Swanick and leaving me hear on my own! It's ok though because when they get back on Friday I'm leaving and going to Tamworth until Wednesday!
Anyway I'm going to go home and have some tea (supper) before I have to head off to Newcastle. Sorry for the boring-ness of this post. I'm sure I will have exciting things to write about soon!
Tonight I'm going into Newcastle with a bus full of young people to an event called ixth hour. Usually this event is held on a Sunday evening but tonight is a special occasion because Mike Pilavachi will be speaking. I've never heard him speak before but I've heard he's very good and I'm looking forward to hearing him. I suppose there's hope for me after all! :)
Another reason I'm excited about this evening is because in going to ixth hour I will not have to go to Peg it, the regular youth club we run on a Friday evening. I will be working later tonight but it's a change of scenery and that will be nice. I like changes of scenery every once in a while. I guess you could say that I suffer from "itchy feet" syndrome although that's a whole other post in itself.
Anyway that being said, I'm looking forward to Capernwray in like 2 weeks! AHH! I can't believe it's come so soon! I do not feel ready at all lol. I'm mentally ready to go but physically I have not even started to think about packing or anything like that. I really probably should!
Tomorrow I'm going to a Ceilidh that we're putting on as a fundraiser for the team going to Canada this summer. I have never been to a Ceilidh before so I'm sure it will be an experience. I'll try to remember to bring my camera so I can take pictures to possibly post. Basically it's like a big barn dance!
Next week Mike and Lisa are going off to Swanick and leaving me hear on my own! It's ok though because when they get back on Friday I'm leaving and going to Tamworth until Wednesday!
Anyway I'm going to go home and have some tea (supper) before I have to head off to Newcastle. Sorry for the boring-ness of this post. I'm sure I will have exciting things to write about soon!
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
This past Friday we got back from our evening youth club - which was surprisingly quiet, the week before we had one girl show up drunk, one boy decided to keep pulling the other lads trousers down, and one lad yelling extremely nasty stuff to me! Fun! - to find that that there was a meeting with a well known evangelist in the area. We were putting away our things from the club as people started arriving at the church for this service. I'd heard about this guy before, actually, I'd seen him before. When I was here two years ago with Team Canada we did an evening event in Newbiggen-By-The-Sea where this evangelist attended. He proceeded to tell the kids that if they wanted a high better than anything they needed an experience with the Holy Spirit. A couple youths mocked what he was saying so he had them come up so he could pray for them. They fell over and then everyone wanted to have a go. It was an interesting night! We came outside and the tires on our van had been slashed! He's very much an "all for it" kind of man and I know that he's known for an incredible healing ministry.
Anyway Mike was telling Lisa and I about this meeting and was pretty pumped to go, but I wasn't...in fact I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible and just get home and have my tea and sit down and that disturbed me...
I got home and sat down for a couple minutes in my room and I looked inward for a bit and honestly I knew that if I went to this meeting, where this man was, I would probably be met by God and challenged and I'd have had to deal with things in my heart that I didn't want to face. I felt the kind of poke you sometimes get when you know that God wants to do something in you and you know it's not going to be a happy time.
Four years ago I would've jumped at the opportunity to go hear someone powerful preach. I remember once I drove across Ottawa, when I was scared of driving in the city, to go hear John Raymer at a Bill Prankard meeting because I wanted to meet and have a powerful experience with God. I did. Now, when there's a similar meeting on my doorstep, I run away because I don't want to face up to the inadequacies in my life at the moment. I don't want to face the reality that perhaps I have become a bit to comfortable in my Christian life and perhaps I have lost some of the passion that I once blazed with.
Perhaps I'm being a bit of a "Jonah" at the moment. Hearing God and running in the opposite direction. Full of zeal when it's comfortable to be so, but fearing it when I have to bring it into every aspect of my life.
I'm thankful God is patient and doesn't give up on us.
Anyway Mike was telling Lisa and I about this meeting and was pretty pumped to go, but I wasn't...in fact I wanted to get out of there as quickly as possible and just get home and have my tea and sit down and that disturbed me...
I got home and sat down for a couple minutes in my room and I looked inward for a bit and honestly I knew that if I went to this meeting, where this man was, I would probably be met by God and challenged and I'd have had to deal with things in my heart that I didn't want to face. I felt the kind of poke you sometimes get when you know that God wants to do something in you and you know it's not going to be a happy time.
Four years ago I would've jumped at the opportunity to go hear someone powerful preach. I remember once I drove across Ottawa, when I was scared of driving in the city, to go hear John Raymer at a Bill Prankard meeting because I wanted to meet and have a powerful experience with God. I did. Now, when there's a similar meeting on my doorstep, I run away because I don't want to face up to the inadequacies in my life at the moment. I don't want to face the reality that perhaps I have become a bit to comfortable in my Christian life and perhaps I have lost some of the passion that I once blazed with.
Perhaps I'm being a bit of a "Jonah" at the moment. Hearing God and running in the opposite direction. Full of zeal when it's comfortable to be so, but fearing it when I have to bring it into every aspect of my life.
I'm thankful God is patient and doesn't give up on us.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Recovery
I'm back at work after 4 days off ill. I really haven't been that sick in a long time. I've been off one or two days here and there but not for four days straight. It's been really hard actually for a couple reasons.
First of all I'm not used to being ill. I was ill during the youth service we did in December but I managed to get out to part of it at least. This time I was confined to my bed with a temperature of 39 (102) for two days straight and had no appetite whatsoever. I guess maybe I've gotten to feel that I'm a bit invincible and it's always hard when you find out your not. In fact, I was half bragging to Sophie and Fran on Saturday evening that I hadn't been really ill for like 2 years and then -bam- that night I'm down lol.
Second of all I'm not used to sitting around doing nothing, I'm used to pushing myself to limits. After doing Team Canada for two years and another 18 months of youth work here you just get used to working like crazy and not slowing down. When forced to actually stop I didn't know what to do with myself. I tried to come into work yesterday because I was feeling a bit better but had to go back home. I'm just not used to not working!
It's probably a good thing I was forced to take some time off though because everything seems to be happening at once and I'm starting to feel a bit edgy about it all. Basically I've got two weeks left to prepare before I go to Capernwray and in that two weeks I've also got to try and make some swift decisions about this summer and how things are going to work out for next year (I've decided to come back again for those of you who didn't know.) Plus on top of that there are few other things on my mind that would not be prudent to blog about but they're things that are there and they're adding to the mass!
I was able to talk with my mom last night and that was really good. I miss her very much. She told me to just relax and take a deep breath, everything would work out and God has his hand on the situation. Sometimes all it takes is the most simple truth to bring a stop to anxiety.
I'm also heading down to Tamworth for a bit before I head off to Capernwray which will be nice, a bit of a breather where I don't have to work before I go off and a chance to clear some air.
Anyway I'd best get back to the British High Commission. You'd think I'd have committed their website to memory by now, but I still have to keep going back to look things up! I don't understand why I can't just be accepted without a visa, we still have the Queen on our money in Canada, how loyal is that?
First of all I'm not used to being ill. I was ill during the youth service we did in December but I managed to get out to part of it at least. This time I was confined to my bed with a temperature of 39 (102) for two days straight and had no appetite whatsoever. I guess maybe I've gotten to feel that I'm a bit invincible and it's always hard when you find out your not. In fact, I was half bragging to Sophie and Fran on Saturday evening that I hadn't been really ill for like 2 years and then -bam- that night I'm down lol.
Second of all I'm not used to sitting around doing nothing, I'm used to pushing myself to limits. After doing Team Canada for two years and another 18 months of youth work here you just get used to working like crazy and not slowing down. When forced to actually stop I didn't know what to do with myself. I tried to come into work yesterday because I was feeling a bit better but had to go back home. I'm just not used to not working!
It's probably a good thing I was forced to take some time off though because everything seems to be happening at once and I'm starting to feel a bit edgy about it all. Basically I've got two weeks left to prepare before I go to Capernwray and in that two weeks I've also got to try and make some swift decisions about this summer and how things are going to work out for next year (I've decided to come back again for those of you who didn't know.) Plus on top of that there are few other things on my mind that would not be prudent to blog about but they're things that are there and they're adding to the mass!
I was able to talk with my mom last night and that was really good. I miss her very much. She told me to just relax and take a deep breath, everything would work out and God has his hand on the situation. Sometimes all it takes is the most simple truth to bring a stop to anxiety.
I'm also heading down to Tamworth for a bit before I head off to Capernwray which will be nice, a bit of a breather where I don't have to work before I go off and a chance to clear some air.
Anyway I'd best get back to the British High Commission. You'd think I'd have committed their website to memory by now, but I still have to keep going back to look things up! I don't understand why I can't just be accepted without a visa, we still have the Queen on our money in Canada, how loyal is that?
Friday, March 17, 2006
Shamrocks And All That Jazz
A little bit of Irish history for you all on St. Patricks day
I came downstairs and said "Happy St. Patricks Day" to Anna and Sophie and they both looked at me and went "who??" I couldn't believe it. Back home we always had St. Patrick's Day parties at school and we all would wear green and eat cookies shaped like shamrocks. Perhaps we just overdo most holidays in North America...I dunno. It was always good fun though!
(This link is not actually about St. Patrick but the Blarney Stone. St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland and also drove out all the snakes. I did a project on him when i was in grade 9. I thought this would be fun though. I think that a family ancestor of mine must have kissed the Blarney Stone because there is a definite "gift of gab" in my family!)
(http://www.sacredsites.com/europe/ireland/blarney_stone.html)
I came downstairs and said "Happy St. Patricks Day" to Anna and Sophie and they both looked at me and went "who??" I couldn't believe it. Back home we always had St. Patrick's Day parties at school and we all would wear green and eat cookies shaped like shamrocks. Perhaps we just overdo most holidays in North America...I dunno. It was always good fun though!
(This link is not actually about St. Patrick but the Blarney Stone. St. Patrick brought Christianity to Ireland and also drove out all the snakes. I did a project on him when i was in grade 9. I thought this would be fun though. I think that a family ancestor of mine must have kissed the Blarney Stone because there is a definite "gift of gab" in my family!)
(http://www.sacredsites.com/europe/ireland/blarney_stone.html)
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Agent Dollface: Hitwoman
I disposed of a dead body today. It was my first and I was surprisingly calm about it. I thought for sure when this day came I was going to be a wreck, an emotional disaster, but I was very cool and collected. But I suppose with a nickname like Agent Dollface what else can I be but smooth? (For those of you out of the loop Agent Dollface was a nickname bestowed upon me by my darling Father during times of play when I was younger)
The body was being kept for disposal in a holding tank at 11 Edward Street. The tank was full of water as well which hadn't really helped in preserving the nice features, especially as the skin had turned a sickly, translucent white, much like ET when he was dying in the film. I think this is the reason I was called in. The original hitwoman couldn't handle the sight but since I have a fairly strong stomache she called me for reinforcements. I think growing up with brothers and having to put up with their disgustingness helped me develop this strength of character. The body wasn't floating either for some strange reason, it had lodged itself inbetween rocks at the bottom. I had to grab at it with a net for a few minutes before I could losen it. My co-worker removed herself from the room as I went to work. It was over in less than 5 and the body was placed in a bag and then in a bin in the back alley. Hopefully it will be removed before it attracts any unwanted attention from the neighborhood felines.
Now how to tell the family members...
The body was being kept for disposal in a holding tank at 11 Edward Street. The tank was full of water as well which hadn't really helped in preserving the nice features, especially as the skin had turned a sickly, translucent white, much like ET when he was dying in the film. I think this is the reason I was called in. The original hitwoman couldn't handle the sight but since I have a fairly strong stomache she called me for reinforcements. I think growing up with brothers and having to put up with their disgustingness helped me develop this strength of character. The body wasn't floating either for some strange reason, it had lodged itself inbetween rocks at the bottom. I had to grab at it with a net for a few minutes before I could losen it. My co-worker removed herself from the room as I went to work. It was over in less than 5 and the body was placed in a bag and then in a bin in the back alley. Hopefully it will be removed before it attracts any unwanted attention from the neighborhood felines.
Now how to tell the family members...
Monday, March 13, 2006
Big Sigh
Stress:
a) A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.
b) A stimulus or circumstance causing such a condition.
Perhaps I'm not so much stressed out now but I was this morning. Anna came into my room last night to talk about next year and my options for where I would stay. Initially I was fine, I was cleaning my room and had that to focus on instead. I had a stupid dream last night though and woke up feeling absolutely awful. I dreamt that I'd forgotten to go to the assembly we had today and went off and did something else instead. When I felt so guilty and tried to ring work to apologize but they were so angry with me. I woke up feeling just horrible about it even though it didn't happen. I got to work I think things just piled up on my shoulders. I wrote an email to friends venting my frustrations and suddenly my wall of reserve started to crumble and I tried and tried and tried....but the tears came. At least no one was around. I'm not overly embarassed to cry in front of people, but I think I just needed some space.
Hard days come. It will be ok. I know my future is secure in God's hands, but hard days still come.
"What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? Job 6:11
"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" Job 13:15
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame" Psalm 25:3
"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:5
a) A mentally or emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health, usually characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability, and depression.
b) A stimulus or circumstance causing such a condition.
Perhaps I'm not so much stressed out now but I was this morning. Anna came into my room last night to talk about next year and my options for where I would stay. Initially I was fine, I was cleaning my room and had that to focus on instead. I had a stupid dream last night though and woke up feeling absolutely awful. I dreamt that I'd forgotten to go to the assembly we had today and went off and did something else instead. When I felt so guilty and tried to ring work to apologize but they were so angry with me. I woke up feeling just horrible about it even though it didn't happen. I got to work I think things just piled up on my shoulders. I wrote an email to friends venting my frustrations and suddenly my wall of reserve started to crumble and I tried and tried and tried....but the tears came. At least no one was around. I'm not overly embarassed to cry in front of people, but I think I just needed some space.
Hard days come. It will be ok. I know my future is secure in God's hands, but hard days still come.
"What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient? Job 6:11
"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him" Job 13:15
"No one whose hope is in you will ever be put to shame" Psalm 25:3
"Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:5
Friday, March 10, 2006
Happy To Love
My pet peeve of the moment would definitely have to be my shoes. They're slowly wearing away on the bottoms and rocks have been finding their way inside so that my shoes rattle when I walk! Really I should just by some new shoes since these ones are really starting to come apart, but being the pack rat and sentimental person who attaches emotions to inanimate objects, it's a hard prospect to face. These shoes are the first thing that I bought when I got to England! My wickedly awesome friend Fi, took me shopping in Birmingham at the Bullring and helped me pick them out and even paid for half of the shoes. She's one of the most generous people I know. They're so comfortable and they're my favourite kind, the ones you slip on, no laces and heels exposed. Plus they had this kind of really soft slipper lining in them at the beginning which was so comfortable. It's since worn down some but they're still very comfortable. They're also Rocket Dogs which is a brand that I've been told is really trendy. Not that it means a whole lot to me, I just buy things that I like and if I'm lucky they happen to be cool.
Anyway my shoes have got my reminiscing about the last 18 months. I can't believe I've been here for a year and a half and am working towards possibly remaining for a 3rd year. People ask me what the hardest thing has been about being in England. Do I miss my family, my friends, my country, etc. I think one of the hardest things is being caught between two worlds. For example; lets examine my accent. I know that my Ottawa friends always made fun of the way I talked and told me that me and my brothers sounded English long before I'd even considered coming here, but now there's some definite truth to those statements. I call home and people say "Oh you sound so English!" Yet to the English I still sound Canadian...I'm stuck in this weird twilight zone where I'm neither Canadian or English! I pronounce words like "hand", "man", and pants very Englishly (apparently) yet still manage to keep a "twang" to what I'm saying!
On a more serious note I think it's harder feeling torn between two worlds when I hear about all the things going on back home and I start wishing that in some way I was still there and a part of it. But then I realise that even if I was in Canada I would still be having this problem. It's a partial curse from having moved around so much. I hear what's going on in Lloydminster and wish I was back there and could see everyone again, I hear what's going on in Ottawa and wish I could be back there and see everyone again, I hear what's going on in Thompson and wish I could be back there and see everyone again and when I'm back home in Canada I hear what's been happening in England and wish I could come back and see everyone again! I just can't win! On the one hand though there has been a major blessing in moving around so much. I'm so blessed to have met the people that I have throughout my life, especially some of my close girlfriends. -- I was thinking a bit about this the other day. How coming from a family of only brothers God still blessed me with so many families that had sisters in them to be my friends and sub-sisters. There seems to be a common theme of becoming friends with families that have two girls in them: Crystal and Amber, Shandee and Ladonna, Leanne and Terri, Sarah and Maia, Christina and Charmaine, Sophie and Francesca.... Although this theme is common it is not limited as I've met a lot of other amazing "sisters" on the way. Tanys, Karyn, Fi, Heidi, Marea, Heather, Lisa....all the girls from Team Canada...I could go on. Please don't be upset if you read this blog and I have not mentioned your name, I haven't forgotten you!--
So anyway, I've digressed but the title of this blog is ...and I digress... so what do you expect?
One of my most favourite quotes ever, if not my most favourite, is by Hannah Hurnard from Hinds Feet On High Places. It is where the Good Shepherd is asking Much Afraid if she would like to go up to the High Places and have hinds feet and in order to go there has to have the flower of Love already blooming in her heart:
"Then will you let me plant the seed of true Love there now?" asked the Shepherd. "It will take you some time to develop hinds' feet and to climb to the High Places, and if I put the seed in your heart now it will be ready to bloom by the time you get there."
Much-Afraid shrank back. " I am afraid," she said. "I have been told that if you really love someone you give that loved one the power to hurt and pain you in a way nothing else can."
"That is true," agreed the Shepherd. "To love does mean to put yourself into the power of the loved one and to become very vulnerable to pain, and you are very Much-Afraid of pain, are you not?"
She nodded miserably and then said shamefacedly, "Yes, very much afraid of it."
"But it is so happy to love," said the Shepherd quietly. "It is happy to love even if you are not loved in return. There is pain too, certainly, but Love does not think that very significant."
That has to be one of my favourite quotes..."it is so happy to love." And every time I think of all the people I've had to say good bye to or don't know when I'll see again next it comes to mind and reminds me that I was blessed to have had the time with them that I had. I think it's also so hopeful...no matter how much you've been hurt or what kind of pain you've been through because of others, it is still happy to love!
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Matthew 5:46
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5
Anyway my shoes have got my reminiscing about the last 18 months. I can't believe I've been here for a year and a half and am working towards possibly remaining for a 3rd year. People ask me what the hardest thing has been about being in England. Do I miss my family, my friends, my country, etc. I think one of the hardest things is being caught between two worlds. For example; lets examine my accent. I know that my Ottawa friends always made fun of the way I talked and told me that me and my brothers sounded English long before I'd even considered coming here, but now there's some definite truth to those statements. I call home and people say "Oh you sound so English!" Yet to the English I still sound Canadian...I'm stuck in this weird twilight zone where I'm neither Canadian or English! I pronounce words like "hand", "man", and pants very Englishly (apparently) yet still manage to keep a "twang" to what I'm saying!
On a more serious note I think it's harder feeling torn between two worlds when I hear about all the things going on back home and I start wishing that in some way I was still there and a part of it. But then I realise that even if I was in Canada I would still be having this problem. It's a partial curse from having moved around so much. I hear what's going on in Lloydminster and wish I was back there and could see everyone again, I hear what's going on in Ottawa and wish I could be back there and see everyone again, I hear what's going on in Thompson and wish I could be back there and see everyone again and when I'm back home in Canada I hear what's been happening in England and wish I could come back and see everyone again! I just can't win! On the one hand though there has been a major blessing in moving around so much. I'm so blessed to have met the people that I have throughout my life, especially some of my close girlfriends. -- I was thinking a bit about this the other day. How coming from a family of only brothers God still blessed me with so many families that had sisters in them to be my friends and sub-sisters. There seems to be a common theme of becoming friends with families that have two girls in them: Crystal and Amber, Shandee and Ladonna, Leanne and Terri, Sarah and Maia, Christina and Charmaine, Sophie and Francesca.... Although this theme is common it is not limited as I've met a lot of other amazing "sisters" on the way. Tanys, Karyn, Fi, Heidi, Marea, Heather, Lisa....all the girls from Team Canada...I could go on. Please don't be upset if you read this blog and I have not mentioned your name, I haven't forgotten you!--
So anyway, I've digressed but the title of this blog is ...and I digress... so what do you expect?
One of my most favourite quotes ever, if not my most favourite, is by Hannah Hurnard from Hinds Feet On High Places. It is where the Good Shepherd is asking Much Afraid if she would like to go up to the High Places and have hinds feet and in order to go there has to have the flower of Love already blooming in her heart:
"Then will you let me plant the seed of true Love there now?" asked the Shepherd. "It will take you some time to develop hinds' feet and to climb to the High Places, and if I put the seed in your heart now it will be ready to bloom by the time you get there."
Much-Afraid shrank back. " I am afraid," she said. "I have been told that if you really love someone you give that loved one the power to hurt and pain you in a way nothing else can."
"That is true," agreed the Shepherd. "To love does mean to put yourself into the power of the loved one and to become very vulnerable to pain, and you are very Much-Afraid of pain, are you not?"
She nodded miserably and then said shamefacedly, "Yes, very much afraid of it."
"But it is so happy to love," said the Shepherd quietly. "It is happy to love even if you are not loved in return. There is pain too, certainly, but Love does not think that very significant."
That has to be one of my favourite quotes..."it is so happy to love." And every time I think of all the people I've had to say good bye to or don't know when I'll see again next it comes to mind and reminds me that I was blessed to have had the time with them that I had. I think it's also so hopeful...no matter how much you've been hurt or what kind of pain you've been through because of others, it is still happy to love!
If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Matthew 5:46
Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. Deuteronomy 6:5
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
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